A Very Gale Christmas
by Black Jackal
Summary: Gale learns about Mistletoe, Carols, and Santa Clause...not good. Also Fred's male and female friend for convenience sake or named Tyke and Jill respectively.


A very Gale Christmas…

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!

Gale stared at the sudden spring of decorations that threatened to devour the underground city. Snowman, bells, old fat men in red suits, what is it all. He stared at Fred who was helping his friends Jill and Tyke put up some kind of plant, all three smiling maliciously. He asked what they are doing.

Fred: Oh! Gale we were uh…

Fred looked surprised and hid the odd plant behind him.

Fred:…uh, putting up decorations, yah that's it.

A poor alibi betrayed by the awkward smiles that just screamed WE-ARENT-DOING-ANYING-STUPID-WE-SWEAR!

Gale: I find that hard to believe, but what is the decoratives for? I see no reason to put them up.

Fred: They're Christmas decorations, duh.

Gale: Christmas?

Fred: Wait! You don't know what Christmas is!

Gale: Christmas didn't exist in the junkyard.

Fred: Oh yah. Well Christmas is Jesus' birthday.

Gale: Jesus?

Fred: Well, he's the son of god.

Gale: I find this hard to believe.

Fred: Yah many people do now…but anyway we find whatever reason we can to celebrate so we don't kill ourselves from the depression.

Gale: So what do you do for Christmas?

Fred: Oh well we celebrate and put up decorations, and we have to give gifts to each other.

Gale: Any other traditions?

Fred grew an evil smile, one you would find on the cat who ate the mouse.

Fred: Well, there are these plants called mistletoes and if any two people are caught under it at the same time, then they have to kiss.

Gale:…odd…

Fred: It's all in the spirit of celebration. In fact why don't you hang some? These things cost us every dollar we had.

Sure enough in a world where all the plants are nearly dead, it could already be considered a Christmas miracle that Fred could get so many as seven.

Gale:…Well, if it is for the sake of raising moral then I will help.

Gale strategically placed the mistletoe for maximum…mistletoe-ness.

Fred: Now, remember, if any two people step under one, no matter what, they must kiss!

As if on cue Argilla and Sera walked into the room, right under mistletoe.

Argilla: What's going on?

Sera: What is this plant thing?

Sera, being an experiment nearly her whole life, knew just as much about Christmas as the Embryon.

Gale: Argilla, Sera, it is a mistletoe, and in order to maintain the integrity of Christmas you two must kiss.

Argilla:…Gale I think you've lost your mind.

Sera: Uh, I would rather not…

Gale brandished his faithful assault rifle and emptied a few clips, he was serious.

Argilla: Gale you're nuts!

Sera: Please don't make me…

Gale: Kiss.

(ArgillaXSera moment)

At that exact moment Serph entered the room and witnessed it. He soon fainted from a very serious nose-bleed.

Argilla: Pervert.

Sera: (Redder then Agni's skin)

Gale: Integrity preserved.

Following the event a photo got out of the moment. Lokopala has a very good camera web, almost too good. Anyway Gale continued with his sweep to make sure that everyone obeyed the iron law of the mistletoe.

Tyke: I think we made a monster Fred.

Fred: I think so too.

Jill: Well, at least our mistletoes are in good use.

Tyke: (runs for the hills)

Fred: What's his problem?

At that moment Gale appeared and pointed his assault rifle at them. Fred and Jill looked up and where horrified to find a mistletoe. Gale was very strategic with his placement and the two had seen too many cases to what happened to those who ran, the worst case was Roland and Cielo being caught, and even Dyaus could not outrun the lethal kicker that is Vayu.

Fred: Uh Gale! There is more to Christmas then just mistletoes!

Gale: Really?

Fred: Yes! Christmas carols! Yah, we go door to door and sing carols! I have some lying around somewhere! We can go and sing!

Gale: Understood, but first kiss.

Fred:…

Jill: (hiding her happiness)

After the FredXJill moment, Fred fetched his book of carols. Gale, Fred, Tyke, and Jill went to there first door and sang. One would expect that emotionless Gale and a few kids who were forced into singing to sound pretty bad, however a gun pointed in your back tends to turn you into a pro, and Gale expect nothing less.

Gale, Fred, Tyke, and Jill: We whish you a marry Christmas and a happy new year! Now bring us some figgy pudding, now bring us some figgy pudding, now bring us some figgy pudding-

When it became apparent that the person they where singing to did not plan on giving them any kind of pudding Gale switched targets. They got some kind of pudding and the listener closed his door and locked it tight.

Fred: Your not suppose to actually get pudding.

Gale: So why does the song demand it?

Fred: It's just a song!

Gale: If the song demands it then we demand it as well.

Fred: (I did make a monster) 

Tyke: Uh, how about we teach you the most important thing about Christmas, Santa Claus.

After much explaining, and lots of questioning on Gales part, he finally understood what Santa Claus is.

Gale: I see.

Fred: Gale, what are you planning?

Gale: You'll see.

Fred: Personally, I hope I don't.

At midnight that night everyone looked up to discover it was snowing. Snow in an underground city? Even with all the global warming? Is it a miracle? No, it was Serph being forced into making snow with Varna's power, else suffer the wrath of Gale's machine gun loaded with a few fire bullets.

A few minutes later, a sled pulled by a single reindeer was raining present for everyone. Now, there is only one problem. In a city were you can only hope to buy discarded military equipment found in the middle of nowhere, that's all that was raining- much to the storekeeper's dismay. Also, a closer look at the reindeer revealed it was Dyaus with reindeer horn stuck on his head.

Dyaus (Cielo): Ay bro! HOW MUCH LONGER DO I 'AVE TO PULL DIS TING!

Gale: As far as I say, we have to make sure everyone gets a present.

Meanwhile, over in Karma city someone was also getting acquainted with the holiday.

Heat: What the hell is this thing!

Angel: It's called mistletoe. If two people stand under it they have to kiss.

Heat: If you even touch me with your man-woman hands I'll burn you to a crisp.

Angel: I have more pride then to lower myself to you, you dolt.

Heat: I bet if I was Gale you would gladly give yourself to me.

Angel: I'LL KILL YOU!

Heat: GALE AND JENNA SITTING IN A TREE!

…The End…


End file.
